I saw this on someone else's blog and thought it was SO HILARIOUS just had to share here..enjoy!!
Do you ever look at situations in life and wonder "why?" If so, there is sometimes no good answer to your question, or else the answer is painfully obvious.
Why do drug stores and supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while (currently) healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?
Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?
Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?
Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is it that doctors and attorneys call what they do a "practice"?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why don't they make the whole plane out of the stuff used to make the indestructible black boxes?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is no money in the account?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" We know it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt so much, you idiot!"?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Why do you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? To get to the same side?
Why did they make the word 'dyslexia' so hard to read?
Why didn't a pilgrim's pants always fall down since they wore their belt buckles on their hats?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? They're just stale bread to begin with.
Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on?
Why doesn't onomatopoeia sound like what it means?
Why does soap always lather white, no matter what color the bar is?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Why do noses run and feet smell?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Why do stand-up comedians star in sitcoms?
Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
Why do they call it a TV "set" when you get only one?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why, in a country with free speech, are there phone bills?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
Why is bottled lemon juice made mostly of artificial ingredients, but dish washing liquid contains real lemons?
Why is it called a hamburger, when it's made out of beef?
Why is it that when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address, you turn down the radio?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety-one?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Why is it that if something says "do not eat" on the packaging, it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Why do bullies always ask "what's your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
Why do we say "heads up" when we want people to duck down?
Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food? Or cat-flavored dog food?
Why can't we tickle ourselves?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same?
Why are there Braille keypads on drive-up ATMs?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Out Of Gas! - [image: 20170425_160300] Not literally out of gas. Figuratively. Emotionally. Physically. Mentally. I’m running on empty after spending the past 3 weeks o...
10 hours ago